Divorce papers; the mere words can make people cringe. Either through first hand knowledge, family relationships, or friendships, nearly everybody these days has been touched by divorce proceedings sometime in their life. We all think we know what to expect, but the reality is that each divorce is as unique as the circumstances that brought it about. Often clouded by biases, emotions, and intense feelings, it’s is difficult to get to the true story behind any divorce. Have you ever talked to someone who boasted of a fair, equitable, and civil divorce? Unlikely. All too often the stories we here are those of pain, anger, and bitterness. This website sets out to ‘set the record straight’ on divorce, to see through the rhetoric and bias to ultimately arm you with the most important commodity in any divorce proceeding: knowledge. And we do it all for free! So please, we encourage you to participate in the discussion by using the comments section, or by emailing us directly at mike@divorce-papers.net.
Onto the update. With this post we’ll be examining a VERY important, arguably THE most important decision you will make in your divorce: hiring the right lawyer.
Now, elsewhere on this site we provide knowledge you can use if you wish to attempt a DIY divorce, as well as information you’ll want to know before you go to a lawyer, but the reality is, at some point you are almost certain to have to spend at least some time and money with a hired professional. I personally believe the legal profession suffers from a case of mistaken identity. We’ve all heard the jokes about the slimy lawyers, and like any profession, law does attract a few unscrupulous characters. But if my extensive experience with the legal system has taught me anything, it’s that most lawyers genuinely DO care about their job, and a great deal of them went into law in an effort to make the world a better place so to speak. If you step back and think about it, I’d wager most of the horror stories you’ve heard about lawyers stem from people who went into the process expecting to get screwed, and more commonly, with expectations for a resolution that are completely unrealistic! All too often the lawyer is blamed for a client’s unreasonable demands. As well, we always hear of the lawyer who overcharges their client, but the reality is, in most divorce proceedings it is the inability of the parties involved to negotiate in a civil manner that results in the long drawn out process, and thus the onerous court costs. Look, if you intend on filing divorce papers against your spouse, the first thing you need to do is clear your head of all the negative connotations you probably have about the divorce process, and secondly you have to set out a REASONABLE course of action with REALISTIC goals and a commitment to follow that course of action, and reach those goals, in a mature and civilized manner.
With that in mind, on to some ideas you’ll certainly want to think about when it’s time to go shopping for a lawyer:
1. First things first, if you’re lucky you’ll never have to use a divorce lawyer….and if you do, you certainly hope it’s only once! Secondly, many people feel embarrassed or ashamed that their marriage has failed, so they don’t exactly want to be asking everybody they know, “hey, do you know a good divorce lawyer? I could really use one!”. The point is, don’t worry if you don’t have a lawyer already in mind. Most large cities or regions will have a database of family law lawyers you can browse, and with the digital age it can be as easy as spending some time on Google to get an idea of who’s out there.
2. Lawyers as a breed are prone to specialization. You’ll want to exploit this characteristic by finding a lawyer who is an expert in your particular situation. Are you a father concerned about child custody rights? In many cases you certainly should be, because while virtually every law on the books in any jurisdiction is written to be ‘gender neutral’, there is overwhelming statistical and anecdotal evidence to suggest that mothers get preferred treatment in custody battles. Luckily for you, there are many lawyers who specialize in paternal rights. On the flip side, there are also maternal rights specialists who are experts at defending mother’s in divorce proceedings. Maybe you don’t have any children, but are worried about alimony or asset splitting, there are experts in those fields as well.
3. Make sure you lawyer has all the necessary credentials and ‘letters after their name’ on the business card. I’m being glib, but in all honesty you want someone who is respected within the community and has a track record of success and fair dealing. As mentioned previously, with the proliferation of the Internet, much of this information can now be found online. You’ll want to look for first hand accounts, reviews, and the like, before you commit to a lawyer. Also search around to see what professional organizations they belong to, as well as if they are regularly publishing articles and other peer reviewed
This update has already run a little long, so I’ll end it here with a promise to pick the topic back up at a later date. It’s such a vital topic that it probably deserves several posts, so I’ll get back to everybody ASAP with another update.
Check back soon on Divorce Papers for additional content…and be sure to join along in the comments section, offer up some ideas and I’d be happy to share my advice.