DIY divorce is, while appealing, a prospect that you should approach with a great deal of caution. Nobody gets married with dreams of one day being divorced, but the fact is over 50% of all marriage end that way. Divorce can be a heat-breaking, intense emotional experience for many, but it is also a major financial event. It can take years, or even decades, to recover financially from an ill-advised divorce settlement, and long after the emotional pain of the relationship has passed, many people are left with bills they are simply unable to pay.
Divorce is fraught with risk; on the one hand you have such an emotional process and on the other you have such a financially important one, the result is often extremely poor judgement. Sometimes a spouse will simply throw their hands up in defeat and allow a vindictive former partner to make off with the lion’s share of the marital assets. Other times you will have two people who simply refuse to negotiate, refuse to budge on even the smallest issue, and eventually are subject to a long and extremely costs court battle that leaves both parties near bankruptcy. Legal fees can range from $200-$1000+ PER HOUR, so it is not uncommon at all for divorce costs to run into the tens of thousands of dollars.
A DIY divorce can virtually eliminate legal fees….but if it sounds too good to be true, it possibly is. When deciding to engage in a DIY divorce there are a number of considerations you must carefully consider before proceeding. Paramount to everything, before even thinking about moving forward with the process, you have to honestly ask yourself if you trust your spouse, and it you are willing to be completely truthful with them. A DIY divorce is a process built on trust, first and foremost. Once you have that issue out of the way, the next question you need to ask is if you and your spouse are in agreement, or virtually in agreement, on all issues. If you are in the midst of a somewhat amicable dissolution of your marriage, it will make coming to agreement on contentious issues that much more realistic. Two grown adults should reasonably be expected to sit down and come to some sort of an agreement on most anything, the problems start when you mix in the feelings of hurt, betrayal, and sadness often associated with a divorce.
If you pass the test of being able to trust each other, and you are in general agreement, or willing to come to an agreement on the necessary issues, then you can move along towards a DIY divorce. Coming back to trust, you essentially have to believe in one another that you are both fully disclosing any assets and income that either of you have. If your assets are relatively simple or small, this is another sign that you might be a good fit for a DIY divorce, as your assets will be that much easier to divide. The next big hurdle to overcome is the matter of children; if children are present in the marriage it strongly advised you consider at least consulting with a legal expert to get an opinion on your proposed custody/support settlement.
A DIY yourself divorce is certainly not for everybody, but if you are lucky enough to be in a situation where you and your spouse can reasonably discuss the issues, you still trust each other, and your situation with children and assets/income is relatively simple, then you may be in a position to save thousands of dollars in legal fees by filing your divorce papers yourself. Check back in the coming weeks and we will detail specific steps necessary to file your divorce, offer links to useful databases of state-specific forms, and highlight some important pitfalls and common mistakes to avoid.