Financial security and safety must be a primary concern when negotiating a divorce settlement. Easily agreed upon divorce settlements are more likely to occur when the lines of division of the marriage are clear. For instance, an agreement on the division of assets is easier to achieve when there is an agreement on what each individual brought to the marriage in terms of assets and when both parties earn similar incomes. When there is a large disparity between the two parties incomes, then there is more likely to be debate on how assets should be divided and how income should be transferred to maintain a balanced financial situation for both parties. Another complicating factor in the average divorce, including divorce settlements, is the existence of children, particularly young children.

The parties must consider the value inherent in their combined assets such as houses, cottages, vehicles, 401k’s, private pension plans, equity or bond investments, cash accounts, or business ownerships. This non-exhaustive list demonstrates the vast array of assets that a divorcing couple must consider, and how important it is to look beyond just tangible, current assets. Future monetary payout asset structures such as pension plans are equally as important cars and furniture.

The majority of divorce settlements use an existing precedent as a guide to develop a fair and accommodating agreement. There are obviously a plethora of example divorce settlements to review, and often examples can be found that come very close to matching the specific situation a divorcing couple finds itself in as it relates to asset size and scope, marriage length, and family size. A divorce settlement can be undertaken without the guidance and advice of a legal representative, but this is not always recommended. Though the use of a lawyer often results in a considerable fee, their insight during a complex legal process like a divorce has value that exceeds the financial cost. In the case of some divorce settlements one or both parties will hire a legal representative to guide them the process. Though they do incur some expense when taking this course of action, the cost is considerably less than allowing a protracted divorce mediation to occur within the court system.

While it is not uncommon for individuals to represent themselves in legal cases, including divorce proceedings, a DIY divorce must certainly be approached with caution.. The practice of self representation in legal proceedings is known as ‘pro se’. People are traditionally interested in representing themselves in legal proceedings because it reduces, if not eliminates, their legal fees. However, particular types of divorces and certain marriage situations are particularly suitable for a DIY divorce, while others are not. The best conditions for a DIY Divorce include the following;

• When each of the parties mutually agree that a divorce is appropriate.
• The couple has no children below the age of majority.
• The value of shared assets is relatively low, and both parties are in agreement on how it should be divided.
• There is no history of abuse or intimidation.

Though a DIY divorce aims to reduce the need for legal advice or representation, a divorce is still very much a legal proceeding. It is important to remember that the rules surrounding divorce proceedings and divorce papers differ from region to region, and thus so do the rules relating to undertaking a DIY divorce. The interest in these types of divorce has increased in recent years as many parts of North America struggled through difficult economic times; a DIY divorce is particularly attractive to those individuals that are looking for an inexpensive dissolution of their marriage.

There are a number of online portals and resources that can provide individuals with the information and materials required to complete a DIY divorce in their region. A number of legal associations have argued that many people who attempt to conduct a DIY divorce and file their divorce papers themselves ultimately end up hiring a lawyer to fix all the mistakes they made. The primary downside of a DIY divorce and divorce papers is that the well-trained and experience legal insight of a divorce lawyer is almost entirely removed from the process. The task of completing divorce documents accurately can be incredibly daunting when attempting to complete and submit them without the help of a lawyer. Another aspect of a conducting a DIY divorce is that divorce proceedings become even more involved for the individuals, as the self-completion and self-submission of all required divorce papers is both complex and time consuming.

In most regions divorce, as with the original marriage, is a legal process that can not be completed without the oversight and sanction of a government official or legal authority such as a judge. As with any legal process there are a variety of papers and forms to complete and file. The accurate and timely completion of the appropriate divorce papers can be the difference between a costly and drawn-out divorce, and a timely, amicable, and cost-effective one. Formal divorce papers serve a variety of different purposes, and many need to be accepted and signed by both spouses. This often requires that the papers be ‘served’ by one spouse to the other and thus the accurate completion of the papers each time limits the back and forth required. In some cases they initiate the divorce proceedings through a formal application for a legal separation. In others they indicate the grounds for divorce, or the spouses separation of property, shared or otherwise. In the case of assets, these papers provide information on the status and size of shared bank accounts and the location of other monetary and non-monetary assets. From a regional perspective, divorce and custody laws can differ significantly from state to state. Obtaining and completing the appropriate divorce papers for your region is the first step in understanding your unique rights and obligations associated with divorce in your state or province. Other examples of various divorce papers include petitions for divorce, custody declarations, and asset divisions.

There are a variety of ways to approach the completion of divorce papers, and each approach has its pros and cons. You can obtain the appropriate papers online or through a government office and then complete and submit them yourself. The online forms can be purchased and then printed for submission, or in some cases actually submitted digitally through a government website. In fact, entire packets or packages of required divorce papers can be acquired online through various websites. This approach is considerably less expensive than other approaches, but it does eliminate the trained eye and insight of a legal representative. The papers submission process can be complex and dynamic, and an experienced guide is always helpful. A number of people who are expecting their divorce proceedings to be classified as ‘uncontested’ are more inclined to complete and submit their various divorce papers obligations on their own. There are many do-it-yourself forms available for situations involving uncontested divorces; these are easy to follow and are typically the simplest divorce papers to complete on your own. There are also online organizations and company’s that you provide with your relevant information, and then they complete the appropriate papers for you and submit them to the appropriate authorities. Divorce papers, of all types, can also be completed and submitted by a lawyer, typically one who’s specialty focus is divorce law. This submission is done on your behalf, and benefits from the input of a well-trained and experience divorce law specialist.

Onto the update.  With this post we’ll be examining a VERY important, arguably THE most important decision you will make in your divorce:  hiring the right lawyer.

Now, elsewhere on this site we provide knowledge you can use if you wish to attempt a DIY divorce, as well as information you’ll want to know before you go to a lawyer, but the reality is, at some point you are almost certain to have to spend at least some time and money with a hired professional.  I personally believe the legal profession suffers from a case of mistaken identity.  We’ve all heard the jokes about the slimy lawyers, and like any profession, law does attract a few unscrupulous characters.  But if my extensive experience with the legal system has taught me anything, it’s that most lawyers genuinely DO care about their job, and a great deal of them went into law in an effort to make the world a better place so to speak.  If you step back and think about it, I’d wager most of the horror stories you’ve heard about lawyers stem from people who went into the process expecting to get screwed, and more commonly, with expectations for a resolution that are completely unrealistic!  All too often the lawyer is blamed for a client’s unreasonable demands.  As well, we always hear of the lawyer who overcharges their client, but the reality is, in most divorce proceedings it is the inability of the parties involved to negotiate in a civil manner that results in the long drawn out process, and thus the onerous court costs.  Look, if you intend on filing divorce papers against your spouse, the first thing you need to do is clear your head of all the negative connotations you probably have about the divorce process, and secondly you have to set out a REASONABLE course of action with REALISTIC goals and a commitment to follow that course of action, and reach those goals, in a mature and civilized manner.

With that in mind, on to some ideas you’ll certainly want to think about when it’s time to go shopping for a lawyer:

1.  First things first, if you’re lucky you’ll never have to use a divorce lawyer….and if you do, you certainly hope it’s only once!  Secondly, many people feel embarrassed or ashamed that their marriage has failed, so they don’t exactly want to be asking everybody they know, “hey, do you know a good divorce lawyer?  I could really use one!”.  The point is, don’t worry if you don’t have a lawyer already in mind.  Most large cities or regions will have a database of family law lawyers you can browse, and with the digital age it can be as easy as spending some time on Google to get an idea of who’s out there.

2.  Lawyers as a breed are prone to specialization.  You’ll want to exploit this characteristic by finding a lawyer who is an expert in your particular situation.  Are you a father concerned about child custody rights?  In many cases you certainly should be, because while virtually every law on the books in any jurisdiction is written to be ‘gender neutral’, there is overwhelming statistical and anecdotal evidence to suggest that mothers get preferred treatment in custody battles.  Luckily for you, there are many lawyers who specialize in paternal rights.  On the flip side, there are also maternal rights specialists who are experts at defending mother’s in divorce proceedings.  Maybe you don’t have any children, but are worried about alimony or asset splitting, there are experts in those fields as well.

3.  Make sure you lawyer has all the necessary credentials and ‘letters after their name’ on the business card.  I’m being glib, but in all honesty you want someone who is respected within the community and has a track record of success and fair dealing.  As mentioned previously, with the proliferation of the Internet, much of this information can now be found online.  You’ll want to look for first hand accounts, reviews, and the like, before you commit to a lawyer.  Also search around to see what professional organizations they belong to, as well as if they are regularly publishing articles and other peer reviewed

This update has already run a little long, so I’ll end it here with a promise to pick the topic back up at a later date.  It’s such a vital topic that it probably deserves several posts, so I’ll get back to everybody ASAP with another update.

Check back soon on Divorce Papers for additional content…and be sure to join along in the comments section, offer up some ideas and I’d be happy to share my advice.

Are you concerned about the high financial costs associated with your divorce? You certainly should be. Divorce can be an extremely complex legal process, and in most cases this process is made even more difficult by the intense emotional feelings between the parties. It can be very difficult to maintain your focus throughout the proceedings while you attempt to understand the legal intricacies of the courts and deal with your emotions at the same time. Therefore it is highly suggested that at some point you refer to professional legal advice in the form of a family law attorney, but this can be VERY costly, and if money is an issue at all, you’ll want to have some background knowledge before you get legal help.

Lawyers typically will charge you based on an ‘hourly rate’. For simple matters they will usually offer a flat fee, but a contested divorce is rarely simple. Believe it or not, the national average for a billing rate is $285 per hour and can range upwards of $1000/hr, so you certainly want to keep your time spent with a lawyer at a minimum. You can save an incredible amount of time (and money) with the lawyer if you go into the first meeting ‘prepared’ with a solid idea of want you want to accomplish and an understanding of what needs to be done to reach that goal.

The decision to file divorce papers against your spouse is an intensely personal choice, often made all the more difficult by the presence of children in the relationship. It is very difficult to provide anybody with advice on ‘if’ they should proceed with divorce, as it is impossible for an outsider to fully understand the relationship between a married couple. However, once the decision to divorce has been made, it is very important that you educate yourself on the relevant laws and proceedings and work as hard as possible to separate your emotions from logically approaching the issue. A divorce is often the biggest financial event in a person’s life, even larger than buying a house or deciding on a career path, yet all too often people go into the process knowing next to nothing about what to expect, and the result is often unrealistic expectations for an outcome. Combine these unrealistic expectations with intense emotions and you have the recipe for a long, drawn out legal affair that can cost into the tens of thousands of dollars and beyond. An unwillingness to be reasonable can often lead to an end result that leaves both parties worse off due to massive legal costs.

Once you decide to file divorce papers against your spouse, the first step you need to take is to educate yourself. That means familiarizing yourself with your state laws, what is the legal process like? Does your state allow for legal separation? If children are involved how does your state deal with alimony and custody rights? You can search either online or at the local library and you will be able to find lots of great information. Searching for recent rulings and case examples of situations similar to yours can provide context and clarity on what to expect as a final outcome. Getting familiar with the norms for legal costs in your region will give you an idea of what you can expect to spend on the divorce; is it worth it from a financial perspective to launch a long and drawn out legal war with your former spouse? Elsewhere on the site, we will explore these questions in greater depth, and go into some specific examples you can take advantage of.

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Right out of the gate, it is vitally important to understand the technical distinction between a legal separation and a divorce.  The concept can simply be explained by the following; divorce is a permanent end to marriage, whereas a legal separation allows time for reconciliation.  Divorce is final, legally binding, and the final step in ending a marriage; it allows both parties to remarry other people immediately.  A legal separation does not end a marriage, it is merely a formal separation of two people.  Neither party can remarry until a divorce has been granted, but a legal separation can, and often does, include particulars on issues of alimony, child support, child custody, and property division.

Now that the difference between legal separation vs divorce is understood, it’s important to understand WHY legal separation is common, and actually mandated in most states prior to a divorce.  What a legal separation does is allows both parties in the marriage to ‘cool off’ emotionally for the situation.  Often there is a specific stressful incident or argument that leads to the initial separation, and if one or both spouses are thinking it may be time for divorce, they can proceed with a legal separation with the understanding that nothing is finalized.  Many states have legislated this process into state law as  means to safeguard the interest of married couples; lawmakers understand the need for marriage to be held as a sacred institution, but also recognize that the reality is that often things simply don’t work out.  A legal separation allows both parties the time and space they need to process feelings and emotion before making a decision.  As well, certain religions and cultures simply do not allow divorce, for those unlucky enough to be stuck in a failing marriage that they feel compelled to see through, a legal separation can allow them to move apart without the stigma associated with an actual divorce.

As well, it is often common for couples to get a legal separation prior to a divorce, as a means of showing the courts that they worked in good faith to keep the marriage going.  Legal separation vs divorce shows the courts that both parties have heeded legal advice and have taken time and consideration into their decision.  This makes it more likely that the judge or court will grant the divorce request in a quick manner with little delay.  If a couple is contentious and unwilling to work together during a legal separation, or even unwilling to enter into a legal separation prior to divorce, often the court will look negatively on this behaviour and step in to mandate the conditions of the divorce.  This process can result in a much more detailed and lengthy court proceedings, increased legal costs, and obviously increased strain on all involved.

When considering a legal separation vs divorce, it is strongly recommended that you familiarize with the applicable law in your state of residence.  Across the country laws vary widely, so a little knowledge on the laws governing your marriage will go a long way towards minimizing court costs, minimizing stress and confusion, and making an extremely difficult and trying time in your life as easy as possible.

The first thing to understand about your divorce settlement is that you MUST go into the negotiations with a realistic expectation for an outcome.  Sit down and spend some serious time thinking about what you want from your spouse, and more importantly spend time researching previous rulings and your local laws to determine what is a reasonable outcome.  With that in mind, here are some common mistakes that people make when going through the process.

- Liquid vs. Illiquid Assets
To anybody with a financial background, this distinction will be almost second nature, but for the majority of us, it requires a bit of thought.  The liquidity of an asset refers to how easily it is convertible into cash.  A checking account for example is extremely liquid, whereas a house is very illiquid.  Often a settlement will award one spouse most of the more liquid assets such as investment accounts and pension plans, and the other spouse will get the less liquid assets such as vehicles and house.  Too often this leads to a serious cash flow problem for the spouse with the less liquid assets, as they are unable to pay the expenses and costs associated with the house and cars and are forced into selling them.  This presents a serious problem, because an illiquid asset such as a house it very difficult (and costly) to sell in a hurry, so often the owner is forced to take a below market price, making things even more difficult.

- Tax Implications
Another somewhat hidden issue to consider is that of taxes.  When coming to an agreement with your former spouse, you must consider the ‘tax value’ of the asset rather than simply focusing on the market value of the asset.  A perfect example is an investment account.  If a married couple had investments of $100,000.00 with a cost base of only $20,000.00, then the difference of $80,000.00 is most likely subject to capital gains.  So an investment account with a market value of $100,000.00 can be worth much less than that in real-world money if the spouse needs to sell those assets to pay expenses.  Another example is income taxes.  Alimony and child support are both typically taxed as regular income.  So if your spouse agrees to pay you $2000 a month in alimony, that money will be taxed and you will receive much less than that in your pocket each month.  At the same time, the $2000 a month is a tax deduction for the party who is paying it, so it’s actually costing that spouse less than $2000 a month.

- Hidden Assets
Unfortunately, divorce often brings out the worst in people and many times this results in deception or outright lying in the divorce settlement process.  The most common form of this is hidden assets, where one party does not fully disclose their financial situation during the negotiations.  It is highly recommended that if you suspect at all that your former spouse has any assets they are not fully disclosing to you, that you hire a forensic accountant to audit their financial situation.  This is especially important if your former spouse is a business owner, as there are many options available for a business owner to shelter assets or liabilities in such a manner as to be difficult for an outsider to understand. A great way to probe for hidden assets is to ask that your spouse hand over all tax returns from the last 5 years.  If they are unwilling to do this, you should suspect they are hiding assets.

When negotiating a divorce settlement it is important that you be pro-active.  Keep the above common mistakes in mind, and be sure to bring them up with your lawyer if they don’t seem to be addressing them.

1.  Talk to your spouse.
The first, and most important step to take is simply sitting down and having a discussion with your spouse.  Hopefully at this point you are both in agreement that the marriage is not working and that you’ve decided to end it, you are at the point of wanting to know ‘how to file for divorce’.  You will need to come to a general understanding on a few issues; how the property is to be divided, custody of any children, and whether you will be proceeding with a contested or uncontested divorce.  Property division is often an extremely contentious issue, so initially it is unlikely you will be able to come to an agreement, but a general understanding of what your spouse expects is important to figure out.  Child custody can be the nastiest step of any divorce, the best possible thing the two of you can do for your children is to remain civil and respectful towards each other, regardless of what happens during the divorce.

2. Consult Attorney
Even in the most amicable of divorces, the process remains a legal procedure, so it is usually best that the both of you consult an attorney at least once.  There are many variations from state to state, and a local attorney will help you understand the issues at hand.  For example, property distribution law can follow either the ‘equitable’ or ‘community property’ route.  If your state follows community property laws, your marital assets will simply be split 50/50.  If your state follows equitable distribution laws, the contribution of each spouse during the marriage will be considered by the judge when dividing assets.    What exactly is considered marital property is another aspect that varies state to state, and your lawyer will be able to define that for you.

3.  Grounds for Divorce
An important consideration when asking yourself how do I file for divorce is to consider what the grounds for divorce will be.  It used to be that certain states would require specific reasons as to why you were ending your marriage, but as of October 2010, every state had approved laws allowing ‘no fault’ divorce, otherwise known as irreconcilable differences.  Grounds for divorce is still important however, as reasons such as adultery, fraud, or abuse (among others) are often taken into consideration during the settlement process by a judge.

4. Financial disclosure
In a divorce, a couple’s assets will be split in some manner.  To achieve this, it is required that detailed financial disclosure from both parties is submitted to the courts.  Individual states have different laws and forms required, but it is a good idea to begin organizing your financial situation as completely as possible, because the information will be required at some point.

5. File divorce petition
This is the step where you actually inform the relevant courts that you intend to terminate your marriage.  It is best to have your attorney with you at this time, as specific steps and information will be required by the courts.  Once all the necessary paperwork is filed with the court, you will be issued a summons, which is a notice to appear at court.  The court will also provide you with a second copy of the summons, which you will be required to serve to your spouse.

How to file for divorce is a complex question.  Check back soon and we will have updated content with the steps necessary after you have obtained a summons from the court, how to serve your spouse and deal with child support and custody issues.

If you choose not to seek grounds for divorce, you are said to be filing a ‘no-fault’ divorce which is commonly referred to as ‘irreconcilable differences’, basically that you and your spouse simply cannot get along well enough to continue the marriage.  If you decide to seek grounds for divorce, you will be required to cite a reason that caused you to want to end the marriage, although you must be ensure that the reason you are seeking as grounds is accepted by your state laws.  Typical grounds for divorce are cruelty, adultery, or confinement in prison.

The reason why many people want to avoid a no-fault divorce is that many state laws mandate that the couple must endure a cooling off period where they live separately, usually for 6 months but it can often be much longer, before the court will grant the divorce.  Obviously this is an unappealing solution to many people who are involved in another relationship or to those who simply want to move on with their lives.

The advantages to seeking an at fault divorce is that you are able to avoid the waiting period before divorce is granted by the court, and in many states if one spouse is able to convincingly prove fault, they can be entitled to a larger divorce settlement than would otherwise be the case.  However in order to prove fault there is often a lengthy and drawn out court battle between the spouses, which understandably can be extremely emotional and costly.  It is wise to think very carefully before filing an at fault divorce as often the emotional and financial costs outweigh the potential benefits.

When considering grounds for divorce, you must try and put aside emotions and deal strictly with the costs and benefits of doing so.  This advice applies to both parties in the proceedings, often it is simply not worthwhile to mount a defense to an at fault divorce claim due to the onerous court costs and lengthy time associated with such a defense.  Increasingly couples are finding a way to work the decision into the divorce settlement process, where one side will accept fault for the divorce to allow both sides to move on, and in exchange will negotiate a fair financial settlement to present to the courts.  It is also important to note that one spouse can NOT stop a no fault divorce proceeding against them, as simply filing the papers is proof enough of ‘irreconcilable differences’.   It is possible to prevent an at fault divorce from proceeding if one spouse can argue why the grounds are invalid, but it is quite difficult to do so, as there is a strong theme in modern public policy not forcing people to stay in a marriage when they want out.